#heart eyes so hard rn
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my brothers new homestuck oc SHESSHHH guys i love women
#not fully rendered tho <3#homestuck#homestuck oc#troll#homestuck troll#oc#original character#troll oc#fantroll#shes for a new group we're making together :3#i wanna give her smooches sooo bad#heart eyes so hard rn
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The great thing about the White Collar OT3 is that at no point does the introduction of Neal into El and Peter's everyday lives never feels like a threat to Peter and El's marriage.
Like from the moment Neal shows up at their house in episode one he and El hit it off.
Within the first 5 episodes Neal and El have figured out they have similar knowledge and interest in the finer things, they're sharing looks over how Peter talks about and will react to things, El is telling Peter to trust in Neal a little, Neal is helping make sure they have a lovely anniversary, and El is calling Neal in to mediate/help prove her point in mini arguments to make Peter do stuff.
They also work really well because while Peter, El, and Neal might all be slightly different flavours and intensities of hyper competent adrenaline junkie weirdos, all three of them are intensely loyal to "their people" so the second El and Neal recognised that they both trust Peter as someone who will always try to do the right thing and respect them they were like "oh green flag."
#chirping wren#white collar#white collar ot3#elizabeth burke#peter burke#neal caffrey#its wild that peter is considered like Just Some Guy compared to them both#cause like he sorta is#he tries so hard bless his heart to just be a simple man with simple tastes and a simple life#and like he kinda succeeds#but also the dude's brain is always going#he stalked his wife prior to asking her out#he has an insane level of attention to detail when he chooses to apply it which is what makes him a brilliant white collar agent#he just struggles with connecting facts to emotions sometimes#el and neal both treat him as like their rock because he is so straightforward and upright#but also the man will leap into the most batshit situations at the drop of the hat if either of them asks him with big wet eyes#like sir that is not normal plain simple guy behaviour#so glad this show came across my dash again and got me on a rewatch#they are all so blorbo shaped and by god do i need that rn
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Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.
Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.
On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!
And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).
But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)
Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!
And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.
On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'
When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.
And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.
So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.
Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)
And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!
I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.
#jrwi the suckening#emizel tucker#jrwi emizel tucker#jrwi soda#jrwi theo collins#theo collins#suckening thoughts#fizzfangs#jrwi the suckening spoilers#I also personally headcanon that Theo might've been like the first person to think Emizel was cool. Like. okay hang on.#I think Emizel didnt get a lot of attention growing up and learned to act out to get peoples eyes on him. Which fixed the first issue but#created a new one where all attention he got was negative attention#and then younger Theo who still feels painfully mediocre (in a way that TOTALLY wouldnt tie into him being neurodivergent adhd in canon)#and Theos getting negative attention without even trying. maybe its because his grades suck. Maybe he gets distracted or fidgety and gets#detention from being disruptive or for being accidentally disrespectful and Emizels also in detention because he blew up all the school#toilets and flooded the building. and more importantly Emizel is EMBRACING the negative attention that Theo cant seem to avoid#And it makes Emizel seem really fucking cool and Theo thinks hes really fucking epic and starts following him around and hyping him up#and then its genuinely the most positive attention Emizels ever gotten and he fucking eats it up. it pushes him to show off and go bigger#and it also gets Theo a very very special place in Emizel's heart. its just that Theo being kinda mediocre makes it really hard to hype#him up back the same way. Except- ya know- Theo fucking loves soda so Emizel can insta-win at positive social interaction if he keeps soda#on him#its like one of those kids who give out candy because they dont know how to make friends#Emizel give Theo soda because he genuinely doesn't have a frame of reference for a wholey positive relationship yet#and then whatever the soda incident is kinda just solidifies it. He's his boy Soda! Soda's his thing! Emizel loves him so much!#idk man this is all headcanon territory im just going insane am i even making sense rn#goddammit this might age like milk i have GOT to finish the suckening so i can brainrot properly
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Having thoughts about Davetrap... Honestly the fact that he's So sentient is so tragic to me. It's like he said he's still a person he just looks different. Even the fact that he still needs food and is eating rats (which he ripped foxy's leg to do so better, unforgivable) yet seems capable of leaving but thing is WHERE to, y'know... I think this is a reality for most non human characters in this game but him being in such a state of disrepair definitely doesn't help, i mean, he literally couldn't be sold off, something he was clearly upset about (I also like that he called the maze shit a gig like that's cute, that's just his job).
Like its just, Dave was never much of anything, at all, we don't even know if this guy has a fucking home, but he still had some things in his favor, he was still somewhat well put and social and shit, so for him to be left like this it's like... I said it like thrice but its tragic its just tragic, man OT2
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf davetrap#davetrap#dsaf dave#dave miller#im. kinda pained rn. like physically. i think i pulled a muscle too but also my eye spill is acting up#and i have a headache so forgive me not being able to make this post better but i hope my rips my hair off is being conveyed properly#like he's just. so... normal. for the standards he's being held at#HE'S A BETTER WORKER THAN JACK BY ALL MEANS FOR CRYING OUTLOUD#i actually am Not forgetting the henry tape that mentions this is the second time dave has been put thru this but i dont remember#the details and i wont look for them bc henry makes me Way too upset in those tapes but if someone wants to quote him be my guest#though i think i did see a fic where dave had to eat a rat im sure it was a fic and not the tape#i thiiiiiinkkkkkkkkk#but yeah its just. he is just kind of tied by hands and feet yknow!#like its super cruel. like he is too far removed from humanity physically to be considered a person. even if he wanted to...#just do anything. get a job. be able to afford shit. live. it'd be fucking Hard#he's literally a fucking cryptid. and his mental state only helps to worsen this. in typical these cunts fashion#nobody dehumanizes them like they dehumanize themselves PRAYING EMOJIIIIIII#its just sad. i'd fix him. i'd fix him so fast. i'd patch him up and wash him. i'd be beautiful. i'd do it. trust me bro. trust me.#<- (has no experience w mechanisms nor textiles arts)#<- ((makes it up w a big and genuine heart tho))
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gave a married woman head on the floor of a bar bathroom tonight
#woof woof#nsft#I MET HER PARTNER. ITS ALL GOOD DW#but I'm like hehehe lalala look how naughty I am#she's the one I mentioned having a bit of a crush on the other day... guys I'm so happy rn#ughh feeling her get hard under her little skirt... I've got looney toons heart eyes. I love women so much
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*incoherent screeching*
#ven#IM OBSESSED I LOVE HIM#if anything ever happened to ventus i would#ventus#kingdom hearts#kh3#hissing#you can fit so much trauma in this good boy#he just wants to play frisbee#LET HIM REST#he deserves it#luxu#mom#dandelions#side eyeing this boy so hard rn like#girl you dont even know whats coming#rip
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You ever finish a drawing that you really like and then you spend the next three days randomly looking at it for minutes at a time like that could make it possible for you to absorb its alluring and magnetic essence with your eyes
#this is me with my icon rn. also this is silly but yeah it really feels like that#i experienced the same thing but even more intensely back in february with the short comic i made then#and then also with some of the paintings i made during my painting course days#admiring the colors and lighting on this mundane green bottle. why not#honestly this might be the first time in my life when i'm making things and i sometimes end up actually liking them fully#no little extra gripes with it that could ruin it. i just like the thing as it is. love it even. it's exactly as it should be#this feeling is one of the top things that make drawing and overall at least attempting to make art worth it#i also wonder if anyone else experiences this thing where the image of a certain character stays in your sort of visual imagination sphere#like the thing becomes associated with everything that happens at that time. the music i listen to etc#it almost feels like i sort of AM this thing. like. spiritually#ok this is hard to explain without sounding kind of odd LMAO#it's just that i've never seen anyone express this exact sentiment. with seeing the character in your minds eye sorta#i mean hmmmm. ofc fursonas and all different types of sonas and such exist. re: the identification thing#i actually find the concept of an 'avatar' as something that represents you (in a digital setting mostly) really intriguing#it was actually one of the things i seriously considered as the subject of my bachelor's thesis#but yeah ok i'm just saying this so that you all know that i AM that little purple kitty holding a heart. btw#ok i'm going to go eat dinner now. don't mind me and my strange long-winded monologues#goosepost
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my brain rewarded me for working hard, last night I had a dream about aki sex ❤️
#thank you brain. I am thankful#kinda struggling to remember the bits and pieces#I remember that first I had a dream I was at work and had to clean#but then my dream flashed to me with aki#I'm pretty sure we did something together before the seggs??? but I don't remember that part at all??????#there were more important things to remember ok#we were in my room and in my bed under the covers#and he was behind me and holding me tight like spooning yknow#I also specifically remember his hair was still in topknot mode lolol#we were both nakey and it felt really real cause I could feel him against me...#I felt his chest rising and falling on my back and his heart pounding hard#and I could hear like... his breathing in my ear.... and the plap plap sound everytime he...... HRK#my eye is twitching rn......#he reached around and grabbed my hand and held it tight#I remember him dirty talking a lot but it's hard to remember what he said#at one point I was like 'right there' and he was like 'yeah? right here?' and it was so hot hnnnnnnbgggggggg#last thing I remember is him telling me he wasn't gonna pull out#then I woke up like a zombie#you know when you feel yourself waking up and you know you are but it's a good dream so you don't want to and you have to fight ittttt#aki. I want. you
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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@grievedifferent liked for something touchy („¬ᴗ¬„)
" hey, " chiyo stops josh before her front door, a hand upon his forearm reaching for the doorknob. she’s got this serious look on her face, almost like she’s trying to think of what she wants to say, and surely she must be when the alcohol still has her mind muddled. perhaps that’s why she goes in for a hug, to give herself more time, or maybe her feelings are too big for her mouth. her cheek presses against josh’s chest, arms squeezing tight, and it occurs to chiyo that she’s being awfully mushy, that honesty is climbing its way up her throat despite all her reservations. she’s hopeless to stop it.
in the morning, she'll be mortified to learn that she's a cuddly drunk.
" m'really glad i know you. people disappoint me a lot, but you… care. lotta people don’t. " chiyo only meant to thank him for taking her home, yet she goes further off the rails, tilting her head back with a goofy grin to meet josh's eyes ( ah, they're quite pretty, aren't they? ). " truth is, you're a... you're... " she's trailing off with a soft laugh, teeth biting her bottom lip as a hand comes up over her eyes and the other finds josh's forearm again -- chiyo's pulling away, trying to steady herself. she's lost her train of thought that quickly. " m'totally wasted, huh? "
#grievedifferent#you could say chiyo got lost... in josh's eyes... ASDFGHG#sorry but i had to make that joke bc tbh it's true -- she 100% started thinking too hard about the color and drawing them#and derailed her train of thought all on her own bc ofc her thoughts are scattered rn :' ))#but in case you didn't realize this was piggybacking off of your ask response before!#it's where my mind went first so i ran with it hehe#i had to be there to be loved | interactions#a chain reaction in your heart | young adulthood
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messy sketch but. them. :)
@hibernationsuit — 💕💖💕💖🥺💖💕💖💕
HELLOOO??? I AM SQUEALING!! LOOK AT THEM!!!! I am on the floor sobbing rn hello my friend I love you with my whole heart!!!!!!!!
#EVERYONE IS LEGALLY REQUIRED TO LOOK AT THIS#HOW DO I WORDS I HAVE NO WORDS#I am beaming so many heart and sparkle emojis directly into your mind rn like hello!!!!#you made this FOR MEEE????#sobbing what did I do to deserve this kindness ily ilysm thank you I am going to stare at this literally all day long#holding them so gently in my hands looking at them w tear filled eyes#words are hard but know I literally have the biggest cheesiest grin ever on my face rn I'm so surprised and delighted!!!!!!!#I love them I love them sm!! look at them!!!!!!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you are literally such a treasure this has brightened my day so much I'm so serious ohmygosh thank you fr I'm so aaaaaaaaaaa#THEY'RE JUST SO CUUUUUTE#PICTURES TAKEN MOMENTS BEFORE A DIVINE FEAST#looking so respectfully#I'm incapable of shutting up rn I am truly incapable I can never stop screaming abt this this is my favorite thing ever rn#ur so good to me how do I ever thank you enough for being so lovely and wonderful every day????#blowing you so many kisses rn so so much love to you so so much goodness to you now and always#okay okay I need to stop writing tags but the love in my heart is ongoing rn I am in SHAMBLES!!!!!#friend art#faith and max#captain of the unreliable#literally on my hands and knees rn#banging my fists on the table#I'M IN LOVE IMMMM IMMMM (getting restrained and pulled away so I stop screaming my heart out)
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It’s nearly 2 AM and I’m literally crying over Cal and Maven rn
The way Cal defended Maven and stood by him until the very end, being the only person who still loved him despite everything. Cal hanging on to any kind of hope for his brother that he could, searching desperately for someone that could possibly help him. Cal putting off the inevitable for as long as possible, never wanting to give Maven a death sentence but being forced to by the court/Scarlet Guard with so much regret behind it. Cal knowing that it’s not Maven’s fault. Cal blaming himself for years and years for never seeing what was happening to his baby brother, and for never shielding him from his mother. Cal going to Maven’s body first when finding him and Mare. Cal burying Maven on Tuck with the hopes that maybe at last, the broken, lost boy he knew could finally have peace. He promises he’ll always keep Maven with him, he’ll never let him go, never let him be forgotten in his memories. He gave Maven a proper headstone, he made sure his brother could have what little honor he was able to offer. It also basically served as Cal’s final message. Cal will always love Maven, he will always regret what happened, he will always wish he could’ve changed things, he will always have guilt weighing on his shoulders, even if it eases with time. Cal will never abandon Maven like so many others.
And then the way Maven spared Cal the final blow, letting Cal believe he was truly gone despite it being a lie. He hurt Cal just to save him the much worse pain it’d have caused him if he knew the truth. Cal would’ve done anything to try and save Maven if only he’d known, and Maven was aware and didn’t want Cal to go through that. They both knew nothing would’ve come of it, but none of that mattered to Cal ever. He would’ve been willing to do anything.
I am so unbelievably emotional over these two brothers good god
#*that* chapter in broken throne has me fucked up dude#they’re so tragic my heart is genuinely broken#tears in my eyes#and the way they’re like red and blue opposites too STOP#this is why even as a die-hard Maven stan Cal is still very important/special to me#he’s just so….. kind hearted I can’t#also just wanted to say#I looked for a long time but couldn’t find the ‘Cal goes to Maven first’ thing#but my brain Refuses to believe it didn’t happen.#so if I’m wrong please forgive me I’m going fucking insane rn LMAO#red queen series#maven calore#cal calore#calore brothers
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guys I think I broke jeremiah
In reality, he doesn’t know if he’ll be back soon, or what it means to be back in a place that feels uninhabitable. Once, his apartment was a glitzy haven, beating like a warm body, dancing like a man. Now, as he fluffs his couch cushions and tosses an old Tupperware of lentil curry into the trash, he understands something’s shifted. Biyu understood exactly what when he’d called her to tell her he’d be leaving for a while but didn’t need to specify. “A little change is good,” she said, the phone clearly pressed up to her ear. Something fried in the background, the popping oil obscuring her voice. “Call me when you’re home. And unplug your appliances,” the latter of which he does now.
What he doesn’t do is tidy his bed. He’s been sleeping on the couch since late September, anyway. He knows what’ll happen if he scoots under that comforter again, if he counts the catamarans on the sheets like he used to while someone else coiled his hair, touched him like he was silk. How one second under would drag him back to fresh ground cinnamon. A freckled shoulder. Every lyric of Wham Rap! A laugh like rustling windchimes. A body there next to him. A body to memorize.
Before he goes, he shuts his bedroom door. By the time he gets back, he might forget what used to happen there.
#ok like listen I cannot be writing this rn but I AM lol#Lonan is side eyeing me so hard like what about MEEE???#to that I say WHAT ABOUT ME?? MY JOY?? Jeremiah is JOY#anyway this isn’t joy this is so sad lol#I love seeing Harrison through someone else’s eyes#that ISNT Lonan!!!!#I didn’t think whatever this is was going to be sad and I think this is the saddest I want it to be#but I still#OWWWW#I’m sorry harrison broke your heart the way he had his own heart broken </3 HE’S EVIL#tagging as jeremiahbook for now lol
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u guys remember how I said I wanted to try and get a car this year as one of my resolutions… after months of researching I think I found the one I want. Finally. I am so sick of reading abt and looking at cars 😭
#I want to try and buy one by may but idk how realistic that is#depends on a few things#it’s a car from 2009-10 and can go for 4-7k which is not BAD considering how highly rated it is#it’s just the nearest ones are like 5 hours away lol 💔#I also don’t know if I can save that much up that fast#I haven’t been able to save much money bc I keep having to loan family money 😰#realistically if I want this car it’ll probably be more like. Octoberish when I’m able to save up enough#I also have to consider insurance which is a big pain#my vans insurance was cheap bc it was as old as I am lmao!! cannot imagine this one will be that cheap but idk my credit is also better now#but considering the car is from 2009 or 10 depending on the one I go with I can’t imagine it being over 100/mo surely. like. that would#be bonkers#I wanted a small truck but they’re hard to find and I wanted an rv deep in my heart too. but they r so expensive 🤧#one day one day one day 🙏😔#actually the specific truck I did have my eye on is fucking ILLEGAL WHERE I LIVE SO. HUGE bummer#it’s supposedly not safe but I think big gas is probably just pressed bc it’s cute and tiny and is not a gas guzzler. tbqh.#anyway I’m putting it into the universe rn: by the end of the year she (cute tiny car) will be mine#sanchoyorambles
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me learning to flycam da2 looks like those horror films where they show the killer's lair with pictures like this all over the walls
#I'm laughing so fkn hard rn#free feet pics#probably shouldn't have tagged that in hindsight#ahh well#shut up kenna#side note look at his eyes he makes my heart go 💫☄️✨🌝💥
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#the Monthly Blood Bath™️ has arrived that explains it!!!!#also i just rewatched harry singing girl crush#did i actually start crying? yes#am i feeling a lot (too many) emotions about it rn as a consequence? also yes#like ofc he’s super privileged and all that#but my heart also aches for him#i’m not gonna claim to know anything about his gender#but it’s so obvious that he’s never wanted to be your like typical Masculine Man#from day fucking one dude#and being under the biggest spotlight in the world rn like#if he is feeling gender stuff#i can only imagine how difficult and heartbreaking it would be to be going thru that at the same time and being under such a watchful eye#it was hard enough for me to break out of my original mold with like#15 people knowing me lmaoooo like fuck dude#ANYWAYS#harry ily and i hope that u are/get to live as authentically as makes u comfortable 🫶#rowyn rambles
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